Oh, if you could but see the drafts of blog posts I have scattered in between ones I've actually published on here, on the topic I now find myself preparing to step into. One dates back to almost two years ago, when I had it on my heart, but after starting to write, found that the time was not yet right for me to speak up. Ever have those moments, where you have your two-cents'-worth ready to throw out there, but it seems like God sort of clears His throat and tells you, "Not yet"? And no matter how much you really want to say something, you know He's right and His timing is best, and that it wouldn't be walking in obedience to Him to go on with what you were about to say...Yeah, that's about where I've been on this topic for the past two or three years now. I haven't been silent for lack of an opinion, though there's definitely also been some wading through things and some research and a LOT of prayer going into it.
See, this is something that I am incredibly passionate about, and have been for just about as long as I can remember. And because it hits so very close to home for me, it's been a real struggle at times to keep my mouth shut and my fingers still. Most of the time, it doesn't really come up in everyday conversation that much, but even when the opportunity has presented itself, there have been so many moments where I've been chomping at the bit but God has (very wisely) held me back. And at the time, I don't think I ever understood why He was having me wait. But, as usual, hindsight reveals things with so much more clarity, and I now know it's because this crazy heart of mine had to be worked on (a. lot.) before I could say what I wanted to. Why? Because while my mouth was so ready to spout my opinion, my heart was not in the right place. And that's where this post comes in.
As I confessed in my last post, for quite a while I suffered from a judgmental-ness that kept me from acknowledging God's ability to move on other people's hearts. So He had to show me by moving on mine. He had to show me a glimpse of His heart, to help me see beyond the legalistic boxes and categories I wanted to place things--and people--into. See, it doesn't take much to speak the truth. Anyone can do it, really, whether they believe it or not (more on that coming in a later post, I'm sure). Trouble is, when you try to separate truth from love, you usually wind up with something that doesn't really look much like truth, because it's only a broken off piece of the Truth. Ever heard someone take a Bible verse out of context? The verse is still true, but snatched out of its context, it can be distorted to where it somehow seems to communicate something it's never meant. It's the same with the truth, with fact.
Take one portion of truth--let's say, for example, the truth that "God is love" (1 John 4)--and remove it from its context (namely, the description of what love is in 1 Corinthians 13 or in 1 and 2 John, or that it's a fruit of the Spirit [Galatians 5:22] or how essential it is in the Christian's life as seen in Ephesians, etc.)...and you've got room to start twisting it any way you like. Leave out the context and the defining that context offers to this statement, and you can start warping "God is love" to mean that God is a cozy or satisfying feeling or that, if He's love, He obviously somehow can't hate anything (*cough* sin). See what I mean? With its context (the rest of the Bible), the statement "God is love" is made that much clearer because it's demonstrated and shown and defined in and by the rest of the Truth. More than that, the rest of the Truth speaks to confront misconceptions and correct them. (God does hate sin.)
So now let's talk about love. Real love doesn't puff itself up, doesn't say, "Hey! Look at me!" Why? Because love is being focused on someone else, to the exclusion of yourself and your own desires and even needs. Love doesn't envy or boast--why? Because it's not wrapped up in itself, comparing self with others or wanting another to be lower so it can be higher. Love seeks after what's best for another. That doesn't mean love wants someone else to always have their way and get everything they want, because in the case of us humans, that would not be, or result in, what's best for us. Love wants what God wants for others. Why? Because God is Love.
(And if you're looking at your screen right now with a confused frown, questioning with, "Wait, I thought you just said love is being focused on what somebody else wants"--this is where part of the awesome mystery and marvel known as the Trinity comes into play. Take a gander at John 17 for a peek into that as Jesus talks to the Father. Jesus is always focused on glorifying the Father who is always focused on exalting His Son who is always focused on the Holy Spirit having His way, who is always drawing the attention to the Father and the Son. It's mind-blowing, but such a beautiful expression of what "God is love" means. But I'll stop with that tangent for now.)
So when Paul tells us in Ephesians chapter 4 that we as Christians are to speak the truth in love as we grow into Christ together--what does that mean? It means I speak the truth to you in patience and kindness, not arrogantly. It means I don't speak the truth to you in order to put you down or try to elevate myself. It means I don't speak the truth to you without caring about you (rudely). It means I don't speak the truth to you out of selfish ambition (to manipulate you into doing what I want or to promote myself). It means I don't get to insist on having my own way, and I don't get to use the truth to try to make that happen. It means I don't speak the truth to you because I'm grumpy or irritated or am harboring resentment towards you. It means that I don't get to rejoice in your being wrong and my being right, even if that's the case. It means I don't just tell you the truth, but I rejoice with you in that truth. It means that when I speak the truth to you, I am ready to bear everything alongside you rather than leave you to go it alone. It means I have to believe in that truth with you, and stand with you to endure whatever you may face. It means I don't get to tell you something and move on with my life. It means we're in this together. It means that if I'm going to speak the truth to you, I have to be committed to loving you, regardless of how you respond to what I say.
Discovering that has been the journey I've been on for quite a while now--the journey I had to travel before I could be ready to open my mouth about the things coming up in future posts here...Stay tuned. And while you're waiting, dig in deep and ask God to teach you how to love in truth and how to speak the truth in love. We all need to keep learning that one.
Until next time,
-Kala
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