Within the past three months, at least three people/families I care about have lost grandparents. I just found out about the third; and one was my family. In fact, I lost my third grandparent this year--sixth if you count great-grandparents that have died within my lifetime. And death is still a weird concept for me. Having someone here breathing one day and gone the next...is never going to feel normal.
There is a crazy amount of peace in the knowledge that all three of the grandparents I know of who have passed away in the past few months--loved Jesus, and are now united with Him, fully seeing the One who has forever fully known them. They are rejoicing in His presence, no longer in pain, no longer weary, no longer hindered by broken bodies. And as one of my friends who recently lost her grandpa related to me, "I'm jealous." More than a little. Because my grandpas and grandma, and her grandpa, and my other friend's granddaddy--they are all in the place my soul longs to be.
But the fact that I am still here on this earth, breathing, means I'm here for a purpose. I'm here for the same purpose these departed loved ones were: to follow Jesus and be His hands and feet on this earth, to somehow be one small part of seeing His Kingdom come more fully to this Earth as it is in Heaven. To love and go after the people within my reach who don't know the One my soul loves, the One who has placed me here to brokenly point them to Him. May they see Him in me as through a mirror darkly, past all my smudges and cracks and failings--so that one day they too may see Him face-to-face in His full glory.
There's a song by Phil Wickham that I had forgotten about until a friend recently posted some of its lyrics online. It's called "Heaven Song," and you should look it up if you've got a sec. The song is about a yearning to be Home. A couple years ago, there were times when I'd retreat to the farthest parking lot at the very edge of my college campus, turn this song up loud, and sing at the top of my lungs. And there at the end of the chorus, where it says, "my soul is getting restless for the place where I belong. I can't wait to join the angels and sing my heaven song," there was a cry and a yearning in my heart, to be able to sing just one note of that song here on the earth.
That's what we're here for. We don't have to wait until we depart from this world to be a foretaste of it. We don't have to do this life alone; Jesus is Emmanuel--He is God with us--and we are present with Him now even if it's not as fully as it shall be one day.
All three of these grandparents we've lost recently have left a legacy and a tremendous impact on the lives of their kids and grandkids. The grief of them no longer being here with us on this earth will never be able to drown that out. Loss hurts because there was something there to begin with. So let's follow in their footsteps--not out of a desire to be remembered, but a desire to live all-out the life we've been entrusted with, to follow God wherever He leads us, to look forward to the day He brings us fully Home.
There's a battle going on. It's not one that can be won with human hands, but one in which the King of Kings has chosen to use our hands anyway. It's amazing, still so overwhelmingly to me, the way He chooses to accomplish His will in this earth. It's not often an easy road, but let us remember the pain is indeed temporary, and it's leading us to something that will last forever. The time for prophecy and teaching and knowledge will pass away, "For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away...For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then shall I know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three: but the greatest of these is love" (1 Corinthians 13:9-10, 12-13).
"The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith" (1 Timothy 1:5). So let's love in earnest. Let's fight this fight knowing how the war ends, and who sits on throne even now. Let's live with abandon and recklessness, not acting like this life is all that matters. The world needs to see that glimpse of Jesus; they need to hear that broken, fragmented note of the song that is forever issuing forth around His throne.
In the words of Switchfoot, "If we've only got one shot, if we've only got one life, if time was never on our side, then before I die I want to burn out bright." A candle lit on both ends may burn up quicker, but it also burns more brightly. No matter how much longer each of us has on this earth, let's not lose sight of Home. Let's run this race with endurance, sprinting harder everytime we remember what lies at the end. We are here temporarily, passing through on our way to the place we belong. Let's take some other folks with us! Let's join hands and take a stand against the darkness, even if it means we burn out.
We're a reflection of the Light; we are not the source. His light will never stop shining. Thanks be to God that it does not rely on us! Yet still He chooses to use us, to make us living reflections of His Light, of His glory. So let us sing in the night. Let our hearts cry out for Home, because Home is truly where the heart is; it's where the One our souls desire to be with, resides. Let's savor the journey He has us on, soaking up every minute of it. For He's not far. He's but a breath away. And as the old adage goes, you never know which breath will be your last.
"For we, we are not long here. Our time is but a breath. And so we'd better breathe it. And I, I was made to live. I was made to love. I was made to know You." -Brooke Fraser
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