Don't you love it when God takes something you feel like you've already known (at least with your head), and reveals it on an even deeper level? I do. That ecstatic feeling of having just plunged into greater depths of knowing Him? Yeah, that's what I've been feeling lately.
And you know what? I've realized it has nothing to do with circumstance. It's not like there was something that happened recently that caused any of this; it was just God.
The other night, and I don't think I even fully know how it happened or how on earth to describe it, but all the sudden I was so overwhelmed by the presence of my King, so humbled and awed, so filled to bursting with joy and gratitude, that just about all I could do was smile up at Him and laugh, for there were no words. I know I probably looked like an absolute lunatic if anyone saw me outside pacing (and possibly dancing) in the parking lot. But even that thought was not enough to make me want to "tone it down" even a little. If anything, it made me smile even more! Call me crazy, but I love my God!!
Like I said, there was no particular circumstance that led to this time of joyous worship and deep communion with my King. If anything, current circumstances would seem like they should have the opposite effect. Between burdens for several people I know or know of who do not know Jesus and are in not-so-good situations, the pressure of some decisions I'm facing, and the usual stresses of schoolwork, you'd seriously think I'd be stealing away with God simply to get away from it all, or that I'd be so overwhelmed with all that that I wouldn't be able to focus on anything else. But here's the thing: by the grace of God (for it's certainly not something I have any ability in on my own!), I trust Him. Again and again He's proven Himself faithful, again and again He's caused my faith to be challenged and then strengthened and then put to greater tests...and the result is that I am now more certain than ever before that He is in control and He will work all things together according to His perfect will.
What I've been experiencing lately is the Author and Source of joy dwelling within me and pouring that joy into me like never before. I can't contain it!
So that's why I'm up at midnight even though I have class at 8:00 tomorrow. Because my God is so great that even when I am completely overwhelmed and blown away by the depth and beauty of His joy (which, I may point out, is only one of His attributes)--it's still only a tiny droplet in the limitless ocean of the fullness of His joy!
"Draw me after You; let us run.
The King has brought me into His chambers."
-Song of Songs 1:4a
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