Dare I Ask...Says Who?

There is a mentality I've noticed quite a bit of, especially in more recent years (although I can remember hearing it when I was younger too), which says there is a limit to how far we should go in being inconvenienced, or even used, by others--that at some point we should just cut ties and abandon certain people. It makes sense, especially in trying to guard your own sanity or preserve a heart that has been continually hurt, and/or trying to get a point across to the other person that their behavior is not acceptable. I mean, how else is the other person going to see they're wrong? And how else can you keep your own mental and emotional health intact, when you have "those people" in your life that just wear you down? So we treat people the way they deserve to be treated, and it seems right and justified and clear-cut.

But, dare I ask...Who says this is is good and acceptable? As Christians (and I am speaking to Christians), we are called to live and love like Jesus did--and He laid down His life for His bride, for the people that are His. He didn't fight for His rights or try to protect his own dignity; He was reviled, ridiculed, mocked, spat upon, criticized, questioned, and let down repeatedly. But how did He respond? And how does He expect us to respond?

"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I [Jesus] say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For He makes His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect." -Jesus (Matthew 5:38-42)

 Christian, I ask you--when has God withheld His grace from you? When has He left you to your own means, even when you deserved it? Because we all deserved it. As Lecrae put it in one of his songs, "If we fought for our rights, we'd be in Hell tonight." We do not deserve for the God of the Universe to look at us and to treat us the way He does--"For when we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person--though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die--but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by His blood, much more shall we be saved from the wrath of God" (Romans 5:6-9).

A few months back, I was praying for a friend of mine who is an atheist, and it led to a suddenly deeper understanding of our God. My friend doesn't believe in God--isn't even willing to think He exists, or that if He does, He could possibly be at all good--and yet, this God who is ignored and shunned constantly, continues to enable my friend to inhale and exhale, to live and to breathe even when that breath is sometimes used to say He doesn't exist. God is still sustaining this person in the same way He sustains you and me. The sun still rises and the rain still falls on all of us--good, bad, rich, poor, prideful, saved, rebellious, shunned, prejudiced, racist, hateful, malicious, back-stabbing, and contrite.

And if He continues to give breath to an atheist who denies Him, who are we to withhold the love and grace and the faith in the One who saved us, from those who hurt and annoy us? In various circumstances we take Jesus' instruction in Matthew 5 and essentially tell Him, "Yeah, Jesus, but You don't understand. If I were to treat this person with love and forgiveness and go the extra mile, it won't change his mind. He'll just think he can keep taking advantage of me. I just need to stand up for myself." The problem is, when we do that, we rob ourselves of trusting Him. "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord...Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:19, 21).

We are not called to be our own defense.

Am I saying it's never alright to set up barriers? Not at all. There are times when loving someone means not giving them opportunity to sin. You don't give a drug addict money. You can meet their needs in other ways by giving them food or helping out with other things, but you don't enable them to keep buying drugs. The danger is, though, when we start using our own reasoning to determine what boundaries should be set where. Sometimes God calls us to give of ourselves even when we feel like we have nothing left--no more patience, no energy, no time. And sometimes really loving someone means doing what is best for them even when it doesn't look like love to their eyes.

The bottom line is this: We are called to love others as God loves us. We're called to portray Christ to this world around us by being different--by looking like Him. And it is when we lay down our rights and allow God to work in us and through us to give us His love for those around us, that the world is changed. They will not see Him in us if we do not yield ourselves to His service. They will not see His grace if they do not see us living it out in our daily life and interactions with them. When you are mocked, scorned, insulted, trampled upon, or hurt, don't retaliate in kind; overcome evil with good. Allow God to give you His heart for your reviler, for the same God looked upon each of us when we were still His enemies, and chose to come among us and give His life to change that.

"Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of Him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?" (1 John 5:1-5)

"I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me he is thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in Me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, an it will be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be My disciples. As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may abide in you, and that your joy may be full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask in the Father in My Name, He may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another. If the world hates you, know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the words that I said to you: 'A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will also keep yours. But all these things they will do to you on account of My Name, because they do not know Him who sent Me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have been guilty of sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin. Whoever hates Me hates My Father also. If I had not done among them the works that no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin, but now they have seen and hated both Me and My Father. But the word that is written in their Law must be fulfilled: 'They hated me without a cause.' But when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, He will bear witness about Me. And you also will bear witness, because you have been with Me from the beginning." -Jesus (John 15)