Focusing

Well, I officially started college today. And through what I've seen over the past few days being on campus before all the classes started, it's becoming more and more evident to me that there are a few places that, as a college student, I could place my focus. Here's the list and a little bit of description:

The "MRS Degree"-Seeker

Here to find a boyfriend/husband. And no, I don't at all fall into this category. I'm not on the lookout; I don't even want anything of the sort to take place. Part of that, honestly, is because I have yet to meet even one man who is running hard after Christ. Now, granted, I haven't gotten to know hardly any guys ('cause I'm not looking!). But I'm growing a little more aware of how few men of God there are, even at a Christian college. But the main reason I'm not here after an "MRS Degree" is simply that I trust God to lead the man He wants me to marry to me at the right time. 

The Social Butterfly

I'm not looking for a mate. So, I could still just get to know as many people as possible, becoming gradually more and more obsessed with what they would all think of me, and gradually watching it become harder and harder for me to stand up for the Truth in any given situation.

The Studious Survivor

The other extreme would be to simply keep my nose buried in my books, not pay any attention to everyone and everything around me, and survive. This would be the "responsible" route to take, and my grades would probably be amazing if that was all I ever concentrated on. And, I could probably make it all the way through college without being much influenced by those around me.

But there's something I'd be lacking and missing out on if I followed any of these routes. Sinking into any of these ruts would mean I'd have to first forget that I have tasted of sweeter waters, I have already experienced a taste of the greater life I am called to. And because I've already tasted that, even if I tried going another way, it would have no savor for me; it would just seem dull and boring. 'Cause, here's the deal...I know Jesus!! I've been changed by Him. I've grown in my love for and devotion to Him. I've watched Him perform incredible miracles within my own soul and life, not to mention in others'. 

And so the decision I find myself facing as I enter college is this: Will I live for Him, or for me? That said, here's the "title" I'm going for during my time at college:

The Fully-Given

I want to be poured out. I want to be focused single-mindedly on the only thing--the only One--that ultimately matters. Jesus, make me wholly surrendered to Your will and to Your Spirit. My time is not my own, so don't let me act as though it is. My life is not my own, it's Yours, so why should I worry about what others will think? Help me live out the truth that I am Yours. Help me be a demonstration of a life lived for--no, lived by You. May I proclaim with more than my mouth that "There is no one else for me, none but Jesus, crucified to set me free. Now I live to bring You praise." Make my life a prayer and an offering to You. 

I know I've not signed up for an easy life, but I also know it will be meaningful. I know I can no longer live for myself, but I also know it's so much more satisfying to live for You. I know I'm completely incapable of living out the life I'm called to, but I also know You, and Your ability to do in and through my life what is utterly impossible for me to accomplish on my own. 

We're living in the midst of a spiritual war, and I for one want to be on the front lines fighting for my King's glory and Kingdom, not off in a corner piddling with my own little life and trying to make something of it on my own. I will die fighting if I have to (in fact, the idea has quite a bit of appeal), but by no means am I going to roll over and play dead for however many more years I may be alive on this earth.

This Is War!

A Black-and-White Issue

What I am about to write is possibly one of the boldest and most politically incorrect things I've ever taken a public stance on. But that can't stop me from writing it. A conviction and righteous indignation that has been stirring within me for years, well over half my nineteen-year-old life, has finally risen to the surface so strongly that I simply can't keep my mouth shut or my fingers from typing. If I try, I'll explode; it's no use. So, here goes.

On my wall is a poster I made, which holds a whole list of things I am praying about for my city. It's nothing fancy. The top reads "Fighting for Memphis" and below that the lists are separated into two columns: "Fighting For..." and "Fighting Against." It's not a comprehensive list, either. I've run out of room on my single sheet of poster board, and one of these days I'll get another one to go beneath to continue the list. But the very first topic on the right-hand column (things I'm fighting against), is racism.

Yep, I said it. Racism.

I've lived in Memphis all my life, with the exception of the six months I was at Ellerslie in Colorado. Hence, I've grown up in the heart of the Mid-South. And I can tell you, racism is very much alive today, and has been all my life and even before. Anyone who's lived here in Memphis knows it, even if they wouldn't admit it. And I'm willing to bet, based both on conversations I've had with friends who've grown up even up North, and on my knowledge of human nature and the lies that have been passed down for so long, that it's alive and well in other places too.
Before I go any further, there is something I need to say. I am living proof that someone can grow up in an area where racism is as prevalent as it is in Memphis, and not be racist themselves. I'm not trying to sound arrogant or prideful, but it's true. I've heard people say things like "You can't convince me that when you look at me you don't notice I'm black." Well, to a level, that's true, but let me tell you something. When I meet someone for the first time, of course I notice what color their skin is. Just like I notice what color their hair and eyes are. And in the same way that I don't, when I meet someone with red hair, immediately imagine some boundary between us because "My hair's brown and hers is red--what if we can't relate to eachother?" Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? Same goes for blondes--some of the brightest, smartest people I know are blonde (so cut the jokes). And same goes for Asians--one of my closest friends in the world is Asian. And the same goes for African Americans. My youngest brother is black, and so is my "big bro" (family friend whom we've sort of adopted, but not legally or anything).

Let's get something straight here. There is one race that exists, and only one that has ever existed--the human race. It doesn't matter what color anyone's hair or eyes or skin tone are; we all came from Adam and Eve. Racism. Break it down, and the word literally means a belief in the existence of races. And this idea that has so penetrated and plagued our prideful, sinful, self-righteous minds for hundreds of years--this idea that there is more than one race--is a lie straight from Hell. If you don't believe me, look at its fruit. Ever seen racism produce good fruit? Love? Joy? Peace? Patience? Goodness? Kindness? I sure haven't. I've seen it cause strife, division, hatred, murder, deceit, and pride--and none of those are at all praiseworthy.
I am sick and tired of watching this lie eat away at my city and my fellow man. I've grown up and somehow escaped its poison, but in that I find myself in the minority. And that's sad. What's even more sad is that this lie is so prevalent in the Church. Know that I'm not throwing a general slur out there and saying that every church body is controlled by racism. But at the same time I know we're not free of it completely in the American church. And that has to change. I'm not holding you to my opinion, but to the Word of God:

"...ye have put off the old man with his deeds; and have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of Him that created him: wherein there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond, nor free: but Christ is all, and in all." -Colossians 3:9-11

By all means, let us throw off the bonds that hinder us, stare down the lies that try to destroy from the inside out, and confront those lies with the Truth.

Before I was born, but not so long ago in our nation's history, there was a great movement that took place and fought for human rights and equality. We know it as the Civil Rights Movement. But I'm here to tell you, while that movement was largely victorious, it was only going after a symptom, and not the root of the real issue. The issue is not discrimination, it is not "racism" in the sense of treating people differently because of the color of their skin or because of their upbringing. The issue lies within our own hearts, in our idiotic pride that would dare say, "I am more important or more special or of more worth than someone else because of _____." And here I must plead guilty, for I cannot pretend that I have never acted out the lie that I and my own interests and "rights" are greater or more important than those of anyone else. I have. I have selfishly looked out for my own interests and not the interests of others. I have treated others--even and perhaps especially my own parents and family members--like they were less important than me. The lie we are so prone to believe deep down, that it's all about me and the world all revolves around me, stems from the exact same place that the lie of racism does. And it's sin. There is no other name for it, for it goes directly against what God has mandated.

So, America, let's repent of our sin. Let's confess before the God Who already knows, and ask Him by His grace to change our hearts and make them like His. This is something only He can do. No matter how many movements we have, Jesus is the only One who can change our hearts. I've grown up free, by the grace of God, from racism, shielded in part by my parents' solid belief in the Bible and their lack of racism. But I know my God, and I know there is no sin too great for Him to overcome. You want victory? Side with Him, and trust Him for it. He's able, and He's faithful.

I don't know how many people will read this. And to a large extent, I don't care. That's in God's hands, and if He wants to have just a few people read it and be stirred, whether to repentance or to prayer, or both--it's fine with me. And though my flesh shrinks from the idea of a huge number of people (especially people who don't know me) reading all this, my spirit is altogether willing to allow that to be the case, if God so chooses.

That is all.

The Adventure

There's a truth that's gradually come to my attention within the past year or so, which lately has also become a challenge to my soul:

Life is supposed to be an adventure. 

It explains a lot. It explains why we as humans are so drawn to adventure, whether it be in a fictional story in a book or a movie, or the more real-life adventures like camping, hiking, and such. But perhaps before I go too far down the road of what this means, I should backtrack and give some evidence that this is truth and not just my own opinion.
First, how about a definition of "eternal life"? After all, that is what we as Christians are promised, correct? I know in our day and age "eternal life" is seen to mean simply that when we die, we will go to live forever in heaven. Well, guess how Jesus defined it?

"And this is life eternal, that they might know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, Whom Thou has sent."        -John 17:3

That's right, eternal life is knowing God. I wonder if you're caught as stunned and simply awestruck as I was a few weeks ago when my sister brought that verse up in a conversation. I'm sure I had read it before, but quite certain it had never hit home until then. And get this, the Greek word translated there as "know" is actually pretty specific; it means intimately knowing someone in the way a husband and wife know each other. Jesus isn't talking about being simply acquainted with Him. See, He is eternal life.

"I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life: no man cometh unto the Father but by Me." -John 14:6

 Now, back to the adventure aspect. Let me ask you something, is a life of total abandon and surrender to a call to lay down everything (including our lives, for we are not our own [see 1 Corinthians 6:19-20])--does that sound like a dull, ordinary life? Sure doesn't to me. And look at the other side of this calling we have as Christians: we get to know Jesus Christ, and we get to be transformed by Him, into His likeness. And we're called to fight! I love the analogy in Ephesians 6 when Paul tells us to "put on the armor of God." Why would we wear armor, why would we have a sword, if we're not in the midst of a battle?

There's this myth that has been readily embraced by the majority of American churches and Christians these days. It goes like this: There are only a few select Christians in every generation that are called to step up and live out a radical Christianity that stands out, that accomplishes much for the Kingdom of God, that brings them ridicule and scorn; there are a few called-out ones in each generation who will step up and take the lead, and live a fully yielded and poured-out life for Jesus. I used to believe it, too. But guess what? I've got news for ya. Know how many times this idea is backed up by Scripture? ZERO.
When Jesus is saying "Whosoever will come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me,"
do you see some little exemption clause anywhere in the surrounding text? Did He pause just then and say, "Well, those are the requirements for My followers who are to be the 'extreme' ones. But the rest of you..." Um, no.
Let's pause for just one second, too, and take a look at those requirements our King laid out for us:
Whosoever--anyone, whoever
will--The word implies an exertion of the will. This is no flippant decision.
come after--follow, pursue
Me--Jesus, the Messiah, Emmanuel (God with us), the King of all kings, the Lamb that was slain...
let him
deny--renounce completely 
himself--all you are, including your desires, your dreams, your talents...everything that defines you
take up--pick up, carry
his--your own
cross--an instrument of torture and death (sound fun?)
and--plus, in addition to
follow--pursue, keep company with, become disciple of, side with
Me--our King, our Master, our Life, our Leader, our Example-Setter, our Savior...


THIS is what we're called to. These are the requirements that Jesus Christ Himself set for all who would follow Him, who would be called by His Name. And last time I checked, we're not at all capable in our own strength and abilities to do any of this--which is where the adventure comes in. He didn't leave us with an impossible task and no means of carrying it out. We have His very Spirit dwelling inside us, transforming our minds by the power of His Word and changing our hearts as we come to intimately know Him, as we willingly offer ourselves to Him as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to Him.

See what I mean? ADVENTURE! The adventure of a lifetime awaits...

And that's exactly what has been challenging me lately with sweet conviction. I have tasted such adventure. I've walked these trails, or the beginnings of them. But there's deeper to go--so much deeper! Indeed, with an infinitely great God, there shall always be more of Him to know. So why do I sometimes catch myself sitting on the sidelines, watching my life drag by without this sense of adventure? The answer, though painful, is simple: the times that happens are the times I have taken my gaze off Christ. It happens when I choose to live for myself and to simply go through the motions instead of living moment-by-moment completely consumed by and caught up in the wonder of all He is and all He has in store. When I'm not getting my directions from Him, I tend to flounder. When I'm not pursuing Him and more of Him, I find myself and my life seeming strange and empty.
I don't know about you, but I for one love adventure. And the last thing I want is to live a boring, ordinary life when I'm called to more. So let's shake off the complacency that has settled in in our comfortable, safe Christianity, and chase the adventure God's set before us. Let's run this race with endurance, not staggering or fainting from fatigue, but leaning wholly upon His mighty strength in our weakness, so that we may truly run and not grow faint, but instead rise up on wings as eagles'. Let's press hard and stop settling for less than what God has in store--settling for less than eternal life, which is knowing Him. Onward!

"Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest."        -Joshua 1:9

Revival--Do We Really Desire It?

Well, I'm home for the second day between getting home from Colorado (visiting Ellerslie and some of my dear brothers and sisters in Christ there), and departing again for my youth group's roadtrip to Youth America tomorrow. I should be packing. Or should I? Packing can wait; what God is pressing on my heart cannot. I don't think I can wait another week before I write about it. So, here goes. 

About a month ago, I wrote a song that was inspired both by what God has been teaching me, and by a quote from Keith Green. When I read his biography, No Compromise, a year or two ago, there were several quotes that jumped off the page at me, but there is only one I can remember word-for-word. In his journal one day Keith Green wrote, "Lord, let there be revival and let it begin in me!" 

For years, I have longed to see true revival sweep through my generation, setting them on fire for God and His Kingdom. But at the same time, I was content to remain as I was. In retrospect, if I were now to put into words the cry and attitude of my heart even just about a year ago, it would be something like this:

"Lord, reveal Yourself to my generation and change them! They need You so desperately, and rather than surrendering to You and living as they were created to and glorifying You, they are pursuing vain and pitiful things of this world, leading themselves only to darkness, despair, and destruction. You've brought me to truly know You; now bring them to this place, that they may see how much better their lives could really be when You are the center as You ought to be." Up to this point, this is likely what my verbal prayers would have looked like. But there was another side, a side I was blind to at the time. While crying out for others to know God, my heart was inwardly saying at the same time, "But, God, I'm perfectly content to remain at this spot where I am. I think I've reached the place where I'm ready to do Your work in the areas You've called me to, ministering to my little circle of influence, and if You make a way for it, to a larger audience. But we're good. I've reached the epitome of knowing You, and need go no further. I know I'm called to be kind of "radical" in a way, but not to the same extreme as some of Your followers from times past." I had no longing to know Him more, no desire to be further conformed into His image and to be made strong so that I would have strength to pour out for others. 

And just in the past year or so, God has brought me to my knees on that point. He's shown me that following Him truly means laying everything else at His feet, fully yielding all I am and all I have to give to Him, giving up my preconceived "rights" and allowing Him to have His way in and with my life in every aspect. I've not reached the end of what the Christian life looks like, but merely the beginning. I've only glimpsed a preview of His glory, of His designs for my generation, of His heart, and of all that He truly is. Though it is definitely hard to relinquish everything, it is more than worth it. Why would or should we cling to the filthy pebbles of our own desires, goals, dreams, and comfort, when there are infinite riches to be had in knowing the Creator of the Universe Himself, the Almighty King over all, the Savior, the God Who is with us and Who in His utterly mind-boggling design has made a way where there was no way, for us to know Him (for this is eternal life--John 17:3) and to be part of His plans? Why on earth would we settle for less than the intense beauty and incredible adventure of a life spent with and for Him?! 

Recently, God has been breaking me in a deeper way. He has been humbling me, revealing to me just how hard my heart still is, how much I desperately need Him to change me and to give me a heart that beats in accordance with His. He's been showing me how much I myself am in need of revival within my soul. So what is revival? Once upon a time I thought it meant something like these huge events where speakers rent out a sports stadium and present the Gospel, where the unsaved come to believing faith in their Savior. But that's not it, or perhaps I should say that's not the full definition of the word revival, but merely the beginning of it. Revival is much deeper than praying a dictated prayer. It's more than an emotional decision that may or may not stand the next day or week or month or year. Revival is a condition of soul where an individual beholds the awesome holiness of God, and falls to his face before Him. Revival is a yielding up of body, soul, mind, and spirit to the only One who is worthy of such sacrifice. Revival is when the Holy Spirit of the Living God comes in like a fire and burns away everything of self and sin, igniting the soul of the believer like the burning bush to display the Life of God within. 

Earlier I mentioned a song...Here it is. I pray that God brings you to this same place of yearning for revival, not just in our generation and our world, but within your own soul. For there cannot be true revival if God's people do not allow Him to begin with them. 

Revival Song

What will revival mean if You don't bring it in me?

What joy can anything bring if You're not the One I seek?

Lord, break my heart afresh and keep my eyes on You.

I can't do this on my own, and I know I don't want to.

     So, Lord, let there be revival,

     And, please, begin it in me!

     Jesus, take this heart of stone

     And give me one that beats

     And yearns for You alone.

On these days when I slip into the routine of my life,

Return my gaze to You, and be Lord of my life.

I'm done living ordinary. Lord, transform, use me for Your glory!

'Cause this life is not about me. It was made to be lived for You.

     So, Lord, let there be revival,

     And, please, begin it in me!

     Jesus, take this heart of stone

     And give me one that beats

     And yearns for You alone.

  My life is not my own, for I was bought with a price.

  Jesus, take full possession of all my life.

  You are my King. May I daily reckon that as so,

  Not with my mouth only, bu with all my soul. 

  Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours.

  This life is not worth living if You're not its source!

     So, Lord, let there be revival,

     And, please, begin it in me!

     Jesus, take this heart of stone

     And give me one that beats

     And yearns for You alone.

It is impossible to truly come face-to-face with God and remain unchanged. Will you yield?

Jesus, whatever it takes, draw Your people to Yourself. May we behold Your glory, and fully yield ourselves and our lives to be willing vessels, shining it forth for all to see the Light of the World. The nations shall know that You are the Lord.

Something I Should Have Started Long Ago...

So, there's something I've thought about every once in a while for years, something that'd be interesting to do some Biblical studying on, which I've even wanted to do for quite some time. But I have a bad habit of never getting around to doing things, or if I do start, not finishing. But you see, I have a blog now. One word: ACCOUNTABILITY. =) Yep. And, also, have you ever noticed that discoveries can be a lot more fun when you have someone to share them with? Not that without a blog I'd never share about what I'm learning with anyone, but I'm a writer and therefore I like to write about things.
This is going to be a fun project.

I guess I should let you in on what it is I'm about to begin. I am about to embark on a study of praise and worship. I've already begun to some extent, but now I'm going to hold myself accountable and work on it more steadily. And I'm going to share it with y'all. What do I mean by "a study of praise and worship"? Well, I'm going to look at what the Bible says about them. I've grown up knowing a little about them (though it's not something anyone ever went in-depth with me on to the extent I want to go in-depth), experiencing them, but not entirely knowing even how to define them. You find these verses saying things like, "God is Spirit and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and in truth," and "Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, for this is your spiritual act of worship." But other than a brief, occasional comment from someone who had looked into these things a little more, no one really teaches on this stuff in the church today, at least not to my knowledge. Now, if I'm going to do this, I don't want to halfway do it; I don't want to just do a preliminary overview when I have the option (though it will take longer) of digging deep. If I'm going to study, I want to really learn.
Part of what really spurred me on in this and got me to start studying praise and worship a while back was a conversation I had with someone who was of the opinion that praise and worship are two different things. I had never come across this notion, so I wanted to dig deeper and see if that's really what the Bible says. (In case you're wondering, even in my preliminary beginnings of study I quickly found that most of the time either "praise" or "worship" are found in the Bible, they are translated from many of the same Hebrew and Greek words.) I've had enough of people telling me what to believe, and that based not on their own study but what others have told them for years and years (sometimes generations). Let's read the Bible for ourselves, that we may truly know the Truth!
So, I'm about to start a blog series, I guess you'd call it. I'm not saying my blog will turn into only a study (though that certainly wouldn't be a bad thing). I'll very likely still have other posts about other things God is teaching and pressing me in. And, I'm not going to say exactly how regular I'll post about my praise and worship study. Sometimes it may take longer to process stuff and learn about it to the extent that I can share my findings. Sometimes, I may not be able to wait to share something. Also, I know my tendency of, when I have a schedule, feeling like it's a "stick or quit" deal in keeping it.

To start things off, I'd like to share a sort of tie-in to this study that I discovered quite "by accident" (though with God there are no coincidences). In Romans 12:9-21, Paul is describing the marks of a true Christian:

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.' To the contrary, 'if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by doing so you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (ESV)

Now get this: in KJV, that phrase "be constant in prayer" is translated "continuing instant in prayer." This is part of why I love KJV, the way it words stuff. Well, when I saw that, I got out my concordance and looked up some words for an even deeper meaning. First off, you've got the word continuing, which gives the idea of perseverance and pressing on. But what is translated continuing instant (or, in ESV, be constant) is actually one word in the Greek: proskartereō. The word basically means "to have continual allegiance to, constant diligence in, single-minded alertness to, give yourself wholly to" (that would be my own description based on the definitions found in Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible and Blue Letter Bible). Cool, right? But here's the tie-in I mentioned earlier: the word translated in both versions as prayer turns out to mean much more than what we tend to define "prayer" as. The word is proseuchē, and it means "to pray (worship) earnestly." Is it just me, or is that pretty awesome? One of the marks (call them symptoms, even)  of a true Christian, something Paul is here commanding us to do, is to continually pray--to constantly be in such communion with God that we are in constant fellowship with Him, being stirred every moment in fighting for His Kingdom to come to this earth and His will to be done, beholding His face and being moved to praise and to worship...our lives truly being poured out at His feet, and joyfully. This is the life we are called to!

So, will you step into an adventure with me--a journey which may very well take a year or more, if I'm going to study every word and mention of praise and worship in the entire Canon--to discover a deeper level of what that calling looks like?

For our King is worthy of all our praise and worship.

Fear Turned to Faith

Sometimes I look at the contrast between my past and my present, and just about laugh at the irony of just how many things I never thought I'd never be faced with, which, sure enough, God has placed me exactly in the center in. One of these things has been the area of health and healing. See, I had all the head-knowledge on this topic. Not only have I read the accounts in the Bible of God healing people, but I have witnessed His miraculous healing in both of my parents bodies growing up. In 2001 (if I'm remembering the date right), my dad fell while doing tree work in the backyard, and broke his back. Long story short, today he walks, runs, and does all the things he used to (except treework where he'd have to be up in the tree--Mom won't let him). My mom had a growth of blood vessels in her liver for years before one day God up and removed it. (Boy, were the doctors puzzled! There was a hole where the growth used to be, but nothing there.) So, with such demonstrations right there in my life growing up, I had without really thinking it assumed I'd never have a problem with faith for healing, because I had the head-knowledge. But my heart didn't know it until God asked me to trust Him personally.
Before I get to the main focus of this blog post, let me backtrack and explain a fear that once haunted me--a fear which I have a feeling has just about taken over in our American culture: cancer. My first encounter with death occurred just months before my dad had his back accident. Earlier that same year, my grandpa died of brain cancer. I remember the shock of losing him. During the visitation and the funeral, I was inwardly in denial. Grandpa couldn't be dead; he just couldn't. But as reality eventually and painfully set in, grief tore at my young heart. As I got older and began to hear more and more in the news and elsewhere about cancer, different types of cancer, so many people dying of cancer...it truly became a fear of mine. Not that I was particularly afraid I would get it someday, but in my mind cancer became this great, terrible force with the power to rip away loved ones, putting people through slow and painful decline before mercilessly finishing them off. And, try as they might, doctors have yet to find a cure.

Well, today I stand before you in a much different state of mind. God, through ways only He could accomplish, has brought me to a place where I not only am being built in true faith in the arena of healing, but get this: I no longer fear cancer. The word (which, oddly enough, means "crab") that once brought to my mind a sort of image of an insurmountable foe, now instead stirs anger within my soul. Why? Well, there's more than one reason for it. Mainly, it's an inward growl and groan for my God to gain the glory due His Name, in every area. In America especially, we have turned to medicine, to science, to pills...ultimately, to man, for the cure. Rather than turning to the One who created these bodies and knows absolutely every detail about them and how they work and how they were created to function--we look to human beings and their finite understanding, knowledge, and ability. We pour millions of dollars every year into research to try to "find the cure," when the Cure is Himself standing in plain sight right before us (and in many of us, within our own souls!). People hear the word cancer and cower in fear--and I was once counted among them. But I have beheld the One who is far mightier than cancer.
I don't remember when it was I first realized this, but cancer also has a surprising similarity to sin in our lives. Cancer kills from the inside out; it starts with a few cells that are somehow mutated, warped from the way they were designed to function, which then begin to multiply much faster than they are supposed to. Ever noticed that when you allow a "little" sin to remain in your life, it soon multiplies and begins to take over? Here's another similarity: ever felt like the sin in your life was too big to be overcome, too mighty to resist, that you were just doomed to be drug further and further toward inward death by it? Seeing any resemblance between that and what I was just describing about our fear of cancer?
But just as the Blood of Jesus is mightier than sin, it is mightier than cancer. He died on that cross to purchase much more than forgiveness...He won! He didn't just go after sin and death--He defeated them! My position on health and healing is not merely the result of seeing miraculous healing in my parents, or even in my own life when He healed a recurring injury in my foot; it is not based mainly on any of that, but upon the Word, Name, and nature of my God. Show me one verse in the Bible that gives any reason to doubt God is able to heal. Show me one verse that even hints at the idea that it is not His will to heal people. Show me something in the Bible that says healing was only something He did in Bible times. Yes, there are some things that only took place in Bible times, things like having to offer sacrifices as sin offerings, etcetera. But the specific names God gives Himself are descriptive of His nature--and that does not change, ever. Know what one of those names is?

Jehovah Rapha: "the God who heals"

This is our God. He has declared Himself Healer. Will we doubt Him? Or we stand up and believe He is who He says He is, will we take a stand against cancer by looking to the True Cure? I don't care how bleak the situation; my God delights to do the impossible, for when He does there can be no doubt as to where credit is due.

Part of what spurred this post into being is the fact that a dear friend of mine is currently suffering from cancer. It has spread all over, and the doctors have given up. Tonight, I heard she is struggling and in near-desperation, asking God to heal her soon, or else take her soon, because she doesn't want to go through this anymore. Had I been in this situation even a year ago, I would likely have been praying in questions, wondering whether it was God's will to heal her or to take her home. But I know her time has not yet come, and I know my God intends to heal her. This ain't head knowledge. This is the faith that has been forged sitting in the presence of my King and seeking His heart. It is the growl that has risen in my soul for Him to get every ounce of the glory due His Name. The doctors may have given up, but God hasn't. The natural may be screaming it's impossible, but for Jehovah Rapha, it's far from it. God has claimed victory in this situation, and I for one am determined to stand and fight alongside Him until that promise becomes reality in my friend's life. Her name is Anita. Will you pray with me for God's great might to be demonstrated in her life as He triumphs over this cancer and brings her body into alignment with the pattern He set for it? And, on a larger scale, will you fight against the fear of cancer that has such a strangle-hold on our culture?

"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?" 

 -Romans 8:31

Love that Goes Deeper

Today I went to the Central Library downtown, and on the way there and the way back, as I drove through the neighborhood the library's in (not the worst neighborhood in town, but also not the best), I felt my heart constrict with...love. Call me crazy, but I love Memphis. While many people my age have grown up with the "I can't wait to get out of this city" mentality, I've grown up loving Memphis, despite her high crime rates, despite her gang and drug problems, despite her crazy (and sometimes drunk) drivers, despite her heat and humidity in summer, despite her continuing issues with racism...despite everything that caused her to be rated (by residents) in the top bracket of "Most Miserable Cities to Live In," and more. My city is broken. Many would term her "unlovable."

As the years have gone by, I have begun to realize more and more that my love for my hometown isn't really mine. It's not at all characteristic to human nature to love (not just tolerate or occasionally feel sympathy for, but love) someone or someones who have done nothing to earn that love, and especially not someone (or, in this case, a city as a whole) with such a long list (the above one only scratches the surface of Memphis' issues) testifying more to inspiring hate and frustration than fondness. But there is another kind of love--and really, "human love" falls so short of the real thing that it might as well have a different word to describe it--love that is so powerful it reaches out to even the unlovable.
God loved us before we even knew what true love looked like. Before we were capable of loving Him, He sent His only Son to die for us, and demonstrated a love that went beyond our wretchedness and depravity.

When I was little, I remember when I got my first real Bible (well, if you can call it that...it was still pretty dumbed-down in its wording). In the front, it had a section of "About Me" stuff to fill in, things like my name and age, my favorite subject or teacher, etcetera. Under one of these categories, it had a place to list some things about my parents and grandparents. There was a blank line beside each of these for me to write in why I love them. I sat there and thought for a minute, and then I put my pencil tip on the page and wrote, "because he/she loves me," next to every one of them. It's one of those memories that has stuck with me, and years after the fact God brought it up to illustrate a deeper truth: "'For if you love them which love you, what thanks do you have? For sinners do the same'" (Luke 6:32); and "Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His Son to be the propitiation [atoning sacrifice] for our sins" (1 John 4:10).

That's the kind of love I have for my city--my King's love. Just as He loved us first and died for us so that we could have eternal life in Him, so that we could be rescued from our sin, I love Memphis, and I want to see her redeemed and set free. I want to see the Truth shine forth in this city, see those captive to sin and addictions (to drugs, alcohol, sex, popularity, or what-have-you) set free, see the empty and desperate filled with the only Love that satisfies...see the Kingdom of God come to Memphis and kick out every stronghold of evil that has planted itself in this city.

 My God is capable of all this, and I know it is no coincidence that He has placed this desire in my heart--for truly it is only Him and not at all me who could come up with such a notion. Therefore, I will not back down; I will not shrink back in fear, for my God is stronger than any that dare oppose Him. God has been (and still is) preparing me to bring me to the place of being willing to spend myself to the utmost for His Kingdom, His praise, His glory, specifically where He has called me: Memphis. I've grown up here: I know the struggles my city is captive to; I know the strongholds that exist; I know the dangers that inevitably await anyone who dares step forward and shine a light in its darkness. I know the brokenness of a generation growing up with hopelessness, seeking desperately to find worth and meaning in anything within its grasp, but not knowing the only True Source of all worth and meaning. His heart yearns for them to know Him, and therefore my heart yearns for them to know Him.

For is not the Lamb worthy to receive the full reward of His sufferings, and the Lord of All the glory that is due His Name?