Burnout?

There are many things (probably more than I could think of to list) that I have been taught and nurtured in growing up in regards to the Christian life. But there are also a few things that were either taught or just generally accepted, which at some point I began to realize have no biblical basis, or else have just been a little twisted by our Americanized-Christian culture. I will say that these are few and far between when it comes to the instruction I received growing up, but recently one in particular has been coming up that I just feel the need to go ahead and say something about. Burnout.
This is the idea that, as Christians, we need to be careful to not do too much, because if we do we end up with too much on our plate, we'll fizzle out and wind up with no energy, no strength, nothing to offer. It makes sense, if you think about it logically. Overexert, and you wind up useless and weaker than you started.

But there's a problem with this line of thinking. As Christians, we are called to not lean on our own strength, our own ability, but to fully and only rely on Jesus Christ. His strength is made perfectly evident in our weakness, because He's the strong one--not us. Our God is not weak or incapable.

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength. Even youths shall faint and grow weary, and young men shall utterly fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. -Isaiah 40:28-31

 This is one of those feel-good passages so many of us have heard so many times, even memorized for Bible class or Sunday school. But sometimes with verses like these, we allow them to lose their potency for us because we don't really listen to what they're saying, they're so familiar to us. So go back and read it again, really read it--listen to what it's saying.

Do you see it? It's teaching the same thing the New Testament does: that our strength must come from God, or we won't have any worth mentioning. The "burnout" principle has some truth to it. If we set out in our own strength to do what we think God's called us to, in our power, we will wind up miserable failures at it all. There won't be fruit, and instead the life will be sucked out of us who are trying, in our own strength, to do something good for God. That's the problem. First, it has to really be what He's called you to. God doesn't just give us strength and say, "Now go find a way to use it!" He has a purposeful, specific plan for each of us in advancing His Kingdom. Not all are called to be overseas missionaries. Not all are called to be teachers or pastors or even parents. But each one of us has a unique calling, and when God calls, He equips. It is only by His strength that we can accomplish His work; that's why the Gospel's so important. God Himself has done what we could not do, and through His death has given us Life--a.k.a. Himself. "I am the way, the truth and the life..." ring any bells?
God didn't give us a job, sit back, and say, "Good luck with that." He filled us with the only thing that can accomplish His will--Him. He is the everlasting God. He doesn't faint or grow weary; we do. He never fails; we do.

So now we come to the side of burnout that's not biblically sound: the idea that we can be doing "too much" for God. It's true that when we do life on our own terms and in our own strength, we will run out of energy, motivation, and ability to carry it all out. But it's not true that when we are doing what we were created for and relying on Christ to do what we can't on our own, we will meet with burnout. Study the New Testament. Who is Lord of the Sabbath? Who is to be our rest, our strength, our savior, the Head of the Body, the foundation upon which everything rests? Jesus. As long as our gaze is on Him, He will equip us for every good work that He has for us to do.

Do we ever see Paul decide he's done enough and he can take it easy now? On the contrary, he gets stoned and dragged out to the trash heap, then revives and gets right back up and strolls straight back into town to keep preaching. In addition to preaching and ministering everywhere he goes, he makes tents and sells them for a living, finds time to write to the churches in other cities, and never ceases praying for the believers everywhere. Sounds like a pretty good description of work that, if done day in and day out over the course of years, is a recipe for wearing you out quickly.

So what?

Have we been promised a life of ease and comfort, to do the minimal amount of work, stamp God's name on it, and say we've made our contribution and can hang out at the status quo? I don't think I've ever read a single verse in the entire Bible that even hints at that. If there are any, feel free to point them out to me. But I'm pretty sure we were promised trials, persecution, hardship, and slander, and for our flesh, a daily, bloody death on a cross. Crosses aren't comfortable. And Jesus hadn't died on one yet when He commanded us to daily take up our cross and follow Him. But He has died, and He has risen. And He has called us to follow Him, to preach His Gospel to the ends of the earth, to make disciples, to glorify Him in all things. He's called us to a life we can't live without Him.

We do not go alone into this world, bearing the good news. We go filled with and clothed in Him (check out Ephesians). The hope of glory is Christ in you. So should we settle for anything less? Should we keep trying to do things our own way, in our own strength, when we've been given the opportunity of a lifetime to be spent and poured out for the glory of our King?

"The hour of God is struck! War is at hand! In God's holy name, let us arise and build! The God of heaven, He will fight for us, and we for Him. We will not build on the sand but on the bedrock of the sayings of Christ. And the gates and minions of hell shall not prevail against us. Should such men as we fear? Before the whole world, aye, before the sleepy, lukewarm, faithless, namby-pamby world, we will venture our all for Him, we will live and we will die for Him, and we will do it with His joy unspeakable singing aloud in our hearts. We will a thousand times sooner die trusting in our God than live trusting in man. And when we come to this position, the battle is already won, and the end of the glorious campaign in sight."  -C.T. Studd

Let Us Run.

Don't you love it when God takes something you feel like you've already known (at least with your head), and reveals it on an even deeper level? I do. That ecstatic feeling of having just plunged into greater depths of knowing Him? Yeah, that's what I've been feeling lately.
And you know what? I've realized it has nothing to do with circumstance. It's not like there was something that happened recently that caused any of this; it was just God.
The other night, and I don't think I even fully know how it happened or how on earth to describe it, but all the sudden I was so overwhelmed by the presence of my King, so humbled and awed, so filled to bursting with joy and gratitude, that just about all I could do was smile up at Him and laugh, for there were no words. I know I probably looked like an absolute lunatic if anyone saw me outside pacing (and possibly dancing) in the parking lot. But even that thought was not enough to make me want to "tone it down" even a little. If anything, it made me smile even more! Call me crazy, but I love my God!!
Like I said, there was no particular circumstance that led to this time of joyous worship and deep communion with my King. If anything, current circumstances would seem like they should have the opposite effect. Between burdens for several people I know or know of who do not know Jesus and are in not-so-good situations, the pressure of some decisions I'm facing, and the usual stresses of schoolwork, you'd seriously think I'd be stealing away with God simply to get away from it all, or that I'd be so overwhelmed with all that that I wouldn't be able to focus on anything else. But here's the thing: by the grace of God (for it's certainly not something I have any ability in on my own!), I trust Him. Again and again He's proven Himself faithful, again and again He's caused my faith to be challenged and then strengthened and then put to greater tests...and the result is that I am now more certain than ever before that He is in control and He will work all things together according to His perfect will.
What I've been experiencing lately is the Author and Source of joy dwelling within me and pouring that joy into me like never before. I can't contain it!
So that's why I'm up at midnight even though I have class at 8:00 tomorrow. Because my God is so great that even when I am completely overwhelmed and blown away by the depth and beauty of His joy (which, I may point out, is only one of His attributes)--it's still only a tiny droplet in the limitless ocean of the fullness of His joy!

"Draw me after You; let us run.
The King has brought me into His chambers."
-Song of Songs 1:4a

Why Am I Here?

Lately I've been realizing more and more how atypical I am, how ironic my life right now really is. I'm not your typical college student. I didn't come to college to get a high-paying job, to afford a nice house and a fancy car, to have a husband, 1.3 kids, and a dog. I'm not here to find a man. I'm not here to prove myself, academically or otherwise. I'm not here to get away from home and my family. It seems like I'm not here for any of the possible reasons most people go to college. So why am I here?

Honestly, that's something I questioned a lot, particularly during my first month or so here at MC. If you don't believe me, ask the people back home who, when I came home one weekend for a visit a few weeks into school, asked how college was and all I could say was an emphatic, "It's good to be home!" I had to wrestle through this question, because from the start I haven't been here for any of the reasons I just listed. During those first few weeks, I repeatedly found myself asking God, "Am I really supposed to be here? Can I please drop out?" A large part of what made me want to be anywhere but here is just how grieved I was to see the spiritual state of things. I'm at a university that calls itself Christian, but with all the distractions, the complacency, the subtle lies that seem to surround and permeate this campus on so many levels, at first especially it was hard for me to see any signs of life or hope. 

God's been clear with me all along that this is where He's called me. And so with that for me to cling to, He has shown me step by step that there is nothing too daunting for Him, that He is greater and stronger than everything that tries to pull the people on this campus away from Him. Through reminding me of who He is and what He wills to do, God has given me joy and faith and the grace to persevere here. 

So you might be wondering at this point why I am here. Well, in some ways I have answers to that, and in some ways I don't. Ultimately, I'm here for God's glory. Whether that means being here to be a real friend to some of the people He's put me in contact with and to live out my faith before them, or to seize hidden opportunities to serve and bless people even if they'll never know who did it, or to give a much-needed hug to one of the cleaning staff...I cannot imagine or list all the ways God can possibly use me, even in the little things, here. 

But why am I at college, earning a degree? Well, here's where you're about to see just how atypical a college student I am. =)

I'm at college to hone some skills and to earn a degree which will hopefully help me get a job editing (though I may easily wind up working for minimum wage at a gym or a fast-food chain instead), to make end's meat and go live in the "hood," to take the Gospel to those who need it and know they need it and to live among them daily as a witness of God's grace, to take on the principalities and spiritual powers that have claimed their turf in the heart of my city, and to watch my God fight for us and prove to everyone Who is the Lord Most High. I fully expect to die with a bullet in my head one day, or something similar. And, call me crazy, but what better way to go than to die standing and fighting for my God to be known by those whom Satan will fight tooth-and-nail to see destroyed?

So that's why I'm here, and it all starts now. On my own, I am completely incapable of any of this. But greater is He who is in me than he that is in this world, and I will live and die to prove that. 

Daily, may I live and die to prove that. Daily, may I lay down my rights, my desires, my way, and watch You fill me with the fullness of all You are, King Jesus. You are the Way. You are the Truth. You are the Life. You are Love. You are Lord of all, so be Lord of all I am. Have Your way.

Worthless Without You

This afternoon I stumbled across half a sheet of paper on which a little over a month ago I had written a song...well, the lyrics anyway. I figured out some chords to it today, but thought I'd share the lyrics. It's a song about probably the main thing God's been revealing to me during my time at college thus far. The recurring theme has been this: "Apart from Me, you can do nothing." I'm pretty sure Jesus meant that. =) It's so true, unless we are abiding in Him, seeking Him, being led by Him, anything we try in our own strength to work up or to do, comes to nothing. We can't do anything worthwhile, but He can. May we be overtaken by Him more and more, be used of Him to advance His Kingdom and do His work...for without Him, without Him abiding in us and we in Him, we can do nothing.

Worthless without You

  I was busy dying, embracing everything that would kill me,

  Running from and fighting the only One who could save me.

  I was trapped inside my darkness, imprisoned by my own sin,

  Until You rescued me.

Now I'm busy living, running after the Source of all things good.

I'm caught up living for You, dying to me, to see You move.

I've forsaken all I once lived for, all I ever knew.

For You are worth far more.

  You rescued, You redeemed, You gave worth to this life.

  I was not worth the price You paid, 

  But You are worthy of my life, bought by Your blood.

  Apart from You, I can do nothing.

  So have Your way. Be Lord of all.

Now I'm busy living, running after the Source of all things good.
I'm caught up living for You, dying to me, to see You move.
I've forsaken all I once lived for, all I ever knew.
For You are worth far more.

     Apart from You, I can do nothing.
     I must "Do or do not. There is no try."
     Unless You build the house, my labor will be in vain.
     It must be You; it can't be me.
     For anything I do in my own strength is only filthy rags.
     I'm worthless without You.

Now I'm busy living, running after the Source of all things good.
I'm caught up living for You, dying to me, to see You move.
I've forsaken all I once lived for, all I ever knew.
For You are worth far more.

 Jesus, You are worth far more...

Two Things That Can't Be Separated

Here's a question for you:
How important is it for Christian musicians and worship leaders to have sound doctrine?
After all, their specialty and gifting is in music and singing, right?

Here's another question:
Is that the way it should be?

I've grown up in a generation that (whether people--even leaders--have ever come right out and said this or not) has tried to separate doctrine from worship. As listeners, church members, and customers, we (myself included) have not required of our musicians an understanding of even basic doctrine. Just because a band or an artist claims to be Christian, we'll support them. As I said, I cannot separate myself from this. For years of my life, though I was not always convinced certain bands were Christian just because they said so, I listened to "Christian" music that I have since realized has bad doctrine or even none at all behind it.
But today I'm here to tell you that sound doctrine is absolutely vital to true worship. What is worship? Adoration and praise of our glorious God, right? Can we really be motivated to worship--truly worship (see John 4:24)--without having a correct view of Who God is?
And on the flip-side, what is doctrine without worship? I'd question whether it is truly possible to have one without the other. When you see God as He is, when you behold the Truth, how can you help but be moved to heartfelt worship? He is far too majestic and awesome for us to fully comprehend in the first place, but even just a glimpse of His glory is enough to send the beholders straight to our knees and faces in wonder. Our praise must be based on Truth, or else it is groundless and just a fake stirring of emotion.

You cannot have true worship without true doctrine.

And when you really understand true doctrine, it must (and will) invariably drive you to worship.

So here's my challenge to the worship leader, the songwriter, the musician--get your doctrine straight; your job is (and should be) to point people to Jesus. And what better way to do that than to know Him more, to know the truth about Him, to behold Him as He truly is... And when you see Him in His glory, it becomes that much easier to draw others' gazes to Him as well. That's where worship begins--knowing and beholding God almighty.
May we as believers in the one true God behold and sing and testify of the greatness of our God. Every knee will bow, and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord...for us, may it be today. May we focus on the Glorious One and forget our selves in His presence. May we dwell and walk with Him, learning more about Him and simultaneously worshiping Him for all He is.
This is what we were made for.

Shall We Start with a Song?

Well, I'm going to begin posting soon (finally!) about my findings in studying the words translated "praise" and "worship" throughout the Bible. And to start things off, well, how's about a song?

This is a song I wrote a little over a year ago, and it seemed like a fairly fitting way to begin a study of praise and worship. This song was birthed out of a time of mingled worship and conviction. One day during the summer semester of Ellerslie in 2010, Eric Ludy read worshipfully through a list he had compiled of the Names of God. As I sat there reading along with the others, my heart was drawn to deeper adoration than perhaps ever before, but at the same time I was convicted thinking of the way that all of creation and nature has continued to declare the glory of God, while so often His people--who were created to sing His praise even louder--fail to give Him the glory due His Name. During that time of worship, the cry of my heart became for my King to gain the glory He deserves in and through His people's lives, starting with mine.

To Sing Glory

For too long, we have let nature sing louder than us

Of Your power and Your wisdom, Your majesty and Your praise.

Now it's time for Your Bride to rise and take her place

And sing the song You deserve to tell of Your matchless grace.

     We were created to sing glory.

     We were made to adore You, to sing glory.

     Glory...Glory...Glory.

We will sing of Your glory, Your power in the earth.

We'll proclaim all Your gospel. We'll sing 'til all have heard.

We will stand on Your Truth and the promise of Your Word.

We won't wait any longer to sing of Your matchless worth.

     We were created to sing glory.

     We were made to adore You, to sing glory.

     Glory...Glory...Glory.

  We were created to sing glory.

  We were made for this, our purpose--to glorify our King.

  May our lives live up to their true purpose,

  Not with words alone to sing Your glory.

     We were created to sing glory.

     We were made to adore You, to sing glory.

     Glory...Glory...Glory...

Focusing

Well, I officially started college today. And through what I've seen over the past few days being on campus before all the classes started, it's becoming more and more evident to me that there are a few places that, as a college student, I could place my focus. Here's the list and a little bit of description:

The "MRS Degree"-Seeker

Here to find a boyfriend/husband. And no, I don't at all fall into this category. I'm not on the lookout; I don't even want anything of the sort to take place. Part of that, honestly, is because I have yet to meet even one man who is running hard after Christ. Now, granted, I haven't gotten to know hardly any guys ('cause I'm not looking!). But I'm growing a little more aware of how few men of God there are, even at a Christian college. But the main reason I'm not here after an "MRS Degree" is simply that I trust God to lead the man He wants me to marry to me at the right time. 

The Social Butterfly

I'm not looking for a mate. So, I could still just get to know as many people as possible, becoming gradually more and more obsessed with what they would all think of me, and gradually watching it become harder and harder for me to stand up for the Truth in any given situation.

The Studious Survivor

The other extreme would be to simply keep my nose buried in my books, not pay any attention to everyone and everything around me, and survive. This would be the "responsible" route to take, and my grades would probably be amazing if that was all I ever concentrated on. And, I could probably make it all the way through college without being much influenced by those around me.

But there's something I'd be lacking and missing out on if I followed any of these routes. Sinking into any of these ruts would mean I'd have to first forget that I have tasted of sweeter waters, I have already experienced a taste of the greater life I am called to. And because I've already tasted that, even if I tried going another way, it would have no savor for me; it would just seem dull and boring. 'Cause, here's the deal...I know Jesus!! I've been changed by Him. I've grown in my love for and devotion to Him. I've watched Him perform incredible miracles within my own soul and life, not to mention in others'. 

And so the decision I find myself facing as I enter college is this: Will I live for Him, or for me? That said, here's the "title" I'm going for during my time at college:

The Fully-Given

I want to be poured out. I want to be focused single-mindedly on the only thing--the only One--that ultimately matters. Jesus, make me wholly surrendered to Your will and to Your Spirit. My time is not my own, so don't let me act as though it is. My life is not my own, it's Yours, so why should I worry about what others will think? Help me live out the truth that I am Yours. Help me be a demonstration of a life lived for--no, lived by You. May I proclaim with more than my mouth that "There is no one else for me, none but Jesus, crucified to set me free. Now I live to bring You praise." Make my life a prayer and an offering to You. 

I know I've not signed up for an easy life, but I also know it will be meaningful. I know I can no longer live for myself, but I also know it's so much more satisfying to live for You. I know I'm completely incapable of living out the life I'm called to, but I also know You, and Your ability to do in and through my life what is utterly impossible for me to accomplish on my own. 

We're living in the midst of a spiritual war, and I for one want to be on the front lines fighting for my King's glory and Kingdom, not off in a corner piddling with my own little life and trying to make something of it on my own. I will die fighting if I have to (in fact, the idea has quite a bit of appeal), but by no means am I going to roll over and play dead for however many more years I may be alive on this earth.

This Is War!